Some time after Body Eclectic Skin Care was created, and after a few years of plying my wares in and around town, I began to notice a curiously ubiquitous phenomenon: quite a few people would visit the table and repeat the same (well meant, gently apologetic, almost wistful in delivery) reasoning for not procuring anything offered –

“Wow, your soaps are so very pretty! I would love to give them a try,’ but I only use body washes. Too bad… they really do look like they would feel fantastic!”

Now, it can be attributed to an innate cynicism (itself born of MANY years working some form of direct customer service), but I can hear the dulcet tones of polite dismissal when encountered. Said platitudes have become entrenched in our consumer driven world – thereby opening up the opportunity for the merchant to offer a rebuttal diatribe as to why one should invest in the product/service being offered anyway.

For me, that has always been an extremely repugnant approach.

So? I formulated liquid soap versions of all the solid soap recipes: same high quality standards as the solid soap bars, same scent offerings, no sodium lauryl sulfates or other commercial chemical nastiness, and multipurpose (use it head to toe). Packaged in BPA-free recycled water bottles (what I had on hand – thus launching the “waste not, want not” mantra many have heard), I remember bringing the liquid soaps to those first markets –

Waiting in anticipation for those same “looky-loos” (an official retail industry term, trust me) to approach the table, feast their eyes upon their preferred ass washing desires (manifested in all their “No these are NOT drinks” glory), and react in one of two ways:

1 – Squeal with unadulterated glee, and immediately procure the liquid soap scent of their choice. Offer heartfelt Gratitude for my awesome body-care wizarding skills, let their friends know just how cool I am, and continue to support this local business until the end of linear time.

Quite rewarding, all around, for all involved.

This happened about 10-15% of he time.

2 – Approach the table, feast their eyes upon their preferred ass washing desires (manifested in all their “No these are NOT drinks” glory), and either offer a limpid “Oh,” or somehow find some other reasoning as to why they simply could not procure anything…

In my Strange Little World, that Allows for what we call in “Nerdland” An Attack of Opportunity – providing the perfect scenario for me to flex my Consensual Reality muscles, play the ‘Sassy Black Girl’ card in game of “Hipster Life™,” run my erudite mouth, and proceed to hurl All Sorts of (good natured) verbal abuse.

Quite rewarding for me and everyone else present listening to the inevitable dressing down / calling out. In theory, not so much for the person on the receiving end –

Then again? I think I’m hilarious. Also remember: in the End, my Powers can Only Be Used for Good.

Perhaps there is something about a nerdy, Goth fashioned, (often) glitter encrusted, sarcastic, adorably confrontational Black woman that somehow… confuses the shit out of most people when encountered. To that, I say –

Get with the damn Program, people. We’re no longer Singularities.*

Results? Having been appropriately roasted (in front of an impromptu ‘live studio’ audience), people would often be heckled into giving the liquid soaps a try. At our next encounter, I would then be offered heartfelt Gratitude for my awesome body-care wizarding skills as they let their friends know just how cool I am- and proceed to support this local business until the end of linear time.

See how easy that was, folks? Nothing like a bit of well meant verbal shenanigans to pique the interest of your potential supporters…

If you’ve read this far? I’d wager your interest is piqued as well. I mean – that’s a lot of exposition for some damn soap; it *MUST* be wonderful.

It is. Give it a try, if you feel like it.

(* “We” = the Neurodivergent, Counter-Cultured, Hyper-Radiant, High Frequency, BrightSpirits of this particular Earth Plane.)